the shoes that don't fit

I just got the results from all my subjects in the preliminary examination.. I was happy from the results of English ( i got perfect ), Filipino ( I was the 2nd highest ), Theology ( 6 mistakes ), Environmental Science ( fair grade, actually one of the highests ), Management ( suprisingly I got 92 ), and Psychology ( fair grade enough to give me a grade of 1.5-1.75 )...

But... what upsets me was receiving a grade of 49.5 in a 6-unit major subject.. and that subject is my course ACCOUNTANCY... I never wanted to be an accountant but unfortunately I am here. I was one of the lucky students who have a background in Accounting.. I knew exactly the difference of bookkeeping,accounting and auditing; I know how to balance; I know the rules of debit and credit; I know what a worksheet looks like; and I know the purpose of adjusting entries.. in short I knew the basics.. the basics that would make me pass accounting 1a and 1b...and thats what frustrates me the most...

I can easily comprehend with my professor... I can even assist my some of my classmates.. but I never got a perfect grade in any of the quizzes I have even failed two. Damn.

Maybe I was too confident.. So I stared working things out..I read more, practiced more and I tried to listen more to my prof...

I spent more time in the library than in our house, Library, group dynamics, coffeeshop... plus pencil, ballpen, eraser, books, journals, ledger, worksheet and calculator = 5o pounds of eyebags! 5 hours of sleep a day.. whow... I never thought I could do that.. read read read....!

Prelims week: HELL WEEK..

I only slept for 6 hours in 6 days.. no kidding...

I was drowned with energy drinks

I suffered back pains, stiff neck, numb feet.. I wanted that week to end soon...

Prelims over! whew.. at last.. after 6 days of pure intoxication.. finally finally and finally Im gonna get some good sleep.. and so I slept.. slept and slept...

Wow.. I never knew I've suffered that much.. but that's it i failed the acctg preliminary exams.. oh I forgot.. I also failed Math of investment.. 6 points.. If only I got that 6 points..Anyways isn't weird even if I studied hard in acctg. and math... still I failed the exams.. Math and Acctg. the most important subjects of 1st year students...9 units.. fuck.. if I still don't pass the finals then Im gonna be debarred!

I don't know how to tell my parents.. they are expecting so much from me... I wanted to tell then that I wanted to shift in an AB course.. or in Interior design.. I know I would excel because those are my field of expertise.. I know I don't fit in AMV-COA.. but Im really trying... I don't want to disappoint my parents.. especially my mom.. as much as possible Im trying not to have thoughts on shifting...I hope I can make make it.. I really wanna make it...

Isabelle Frances Angela E. Valentos CPA.