Stupid thoughts: things are different now

Lately I am having these stupid thoughts in my mind:

1. Growing Up

Everything just seem so fast. Yesterday I was in greenbelt chapel, and while listening to priest's sermon I noticed a little boy playing just in front of me then a little girl came by then after a while they're already playmates.

Then I remembered when I was a little girl, My best playmate was my sister. We we're always together and we spent our childhood days killing each other ( well almost. haha ok lets just say we often have cat fights ). Then I looked at my sister ( she was just sitting beside me ), " things are different now " I said to myself, We're pretty much closer now, we still do have cat fights but it will only last for about 30 mins or less.

The two kids in front of me stopped playing the little chubby girl went to her mom and the little skinny boy went to his brother ( I think they started playing ).

" hay ang sarap talagang maging bata "

True, When you're a kid you don't mind about things, People are always nice to you, You're parents give you everything that you want and you're always happy. That's something I didn't know when I was a kid, all I wanted to happen was to grow up so I could learn how to drive, so I could wear the stuffs that my teenage ate's were wearing, so my mom could always bring me when she goes out, so I could stay up late, so I can go to college bla bla bla..

And so years passed by I still don't know how to drive ( hahaha ), I am only seventeen but it feels like I am sooo old. Weird, I know but really I am afraid of growing up. Six more months and I'll be a real adult, I'll be responsible for my own actions by then, I could even be sent to jail by then (haha too exaggerated). In the next three years I'll be graduating from college and months after that I'll be taking the board exam. Then what happens next? what if I don't pass the board? what will be my job like? what if things don't end up the way I wanted it to be..

Maybe what I'm really trying to say is that when I was kid I didn't knew how hard it was to be a grown up. I knew that grown ups face a lot of problems but I didn't knew that handling problems about your family, friends, school, relationships, health, and future would be way too difficult than expected.

Time really goes by so fast it was just yesterday when I was crying because my sister hid my school ID and then the next day I was crying because of an ex-lover. I wish I could be a kid again but years of my childhood could never go back anymore, I could not just simply tell the time to stop or go back so I wouldn't be feeling this way, maybe the right thing to do is just to live life the way it is. In the real world you can't always get what you want, people are not always nice, there's no escape in getting old, and you're not always happy but what I like about the real world is that you always have a choice.


to be continued...