everything is not all right

Everything had been a bliss even before the year started. Everything is like getting into my head. I try to find things that will somehow change everything but everything is no good.

Everything may seem alright, everything may seem OKAY but in reality everything is really not.

TRAILER: GRADES.

FCUKCOUNTING . I'm starting to realize that I've made a huge mistake when I choose to "LIVE THE DREAM, CPA @ 400" bla bla bla. Ok so I'm not really trying my best but how can I? Every bit of it just doesn't interest me. I'm no good in numbers, I don't even like solving word problems. I haven't been getting passing grades in my quizzes and My prelim exam is a mess. Hell I want to shift, Hell I'll be debarred.

CALCULUS. As far as I remember I was one of the best students in Calculus in high school, and now? well I don't know, lessons are a lot complicated than before. AND I don't usually attend classes. PLUS my teacher humiliated in front of the class last week.

"PUMASA KA BA NG ALGEBRA? O KAHIT NG ARITHMETIC MAN LANG?"

LITERATURE. Again I was one of the top students in Literature in high school. Philippine lit sucks we're not even studying Literature. They should be changing the subject to HISTORY OF PHILIPPINE LITERATURE. And yea, I hate my professor "feeling major".

COMPUTER PROGRAMMING LAB AND LEC. Lab is worse than Lec.

WORLD CULTURE. Helllllllllllllloooooo! Humanities is like my favorite subject, I always get high scores in my quizzes tapos my professor only gave me a shining fucking 72 (class standing, exam not yet included). REASON: I don't usually attend the classes and I didn't submit my fucking WORLD MAP. Shit I hate it.

Hay my grades are in grave danger. I want to shift na talaga, but I can't possibly tell my parents. They'll never agree. They'll surely freak out and give me this " You're just wasting our money, bla bla bla, we gave you everything bla bla bla and you're like not giving us any bla bla bla" and then slap me to death. PLUS! my folks and I are still not in good terms, if they found out that my grades are suffering from my laziness and lack of interest they'll kick me out of the house (OA), or maybe they'll make me stop school.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to burst into tears. This is not how I pictured my 2nd year to be or my start-of-adulthood to be. Maybe I'll just have to face the consequences, it's my fault anyway.