I am Jack, yes the Jack we all knew of, the Jack who took everything but never really learned it all.
Since I was young I've been asking myself the same question, what do I want to be when I grow up? I've dreamed of a lot of things believe me, there was that career in Medicine when I was young, then theater acting, then dancing but I gave up on it all because when I was about to chose a career in college, I just had two things in mind, to be someone in fashion and to see the world.
But it never happened, so I chose a degree that has something to with doing worksheets and financial statements and just basically studying and sleeping at the library for like every single day and guess what? I gave up on that too. Which made me end up in going for a Marketing career, now that's one thing I actually enjoyed. So after college, I was aiming to specialize in Brand Management for Consumer Goods, but again this never happened, I ended up working for a distribution company. I told myself before, that it's gonna be alright, I will get what I want soon, I just have to learn for a year. It's been a year already, and I guess it's safe to say that I'm not happy with my job anymore.
The most frustrating part of this story is that I never seem to get anything I want. I knew I was never going to get that career in fashion so I tried to be one of the best in my chosen career. I joined competitions in college because I want to challenge my capabilities but secretly I just wanted to get a sh*t out of my life, I wanted fame and I wanted my schoolmates to recognize me. I accepted a job right after graduation because I said I wanted to work and use everything I have learned as early as possible well, truth to be told, I just can't stand doing nothing and I wanted to earn money so I could feed my hungry closet. I pretended to be enjoying every minute of my job because I never wanted to share the same miseries as my schoolmates who can't seem to find a company to work for, but here I am whining, just as worst as someone who lost everything, the only difference is that I never had anything the most that I can boast off is my blog (not this blog, but my Fashion-all-in-one blog) and my brown boots. Other than that I have nothing.
But if you're thinking that I never get to master anything that I've been interested with, then you're wrong, I'm not that screwed, I somehow mastered acting, because acting is not just for the stage, I've learned to use it on a day-to-day basis (in a good way) and I've also mastered the art of controlling myself in terms of shopping, I try to avoid the malls nowadays because they do get me upset and yes, writing, not that brainy writer thing but just casual writing.
And so the sad thing about life is that no matter how optimistic I am, no matter how bright I look in to things, my future somehow gets f*cked up, one way or another. Five years ago, I wanted a career in Fashion, Five years after I still do and I wanna move out and migrate to London and get my Masters, hopefully I'll get that working out soon. For now, I will still be blogging and complaining, not until I reach my goal, not until Jack grows up and get her life sorted out.
